I have recently developed a severe hydrocodone addiction. I got this, because i love the way hydrocodone make me feel, and that's it. I do know that i have severe pain and anxiety without the it. (even before i took 1 pill). My most recent stint started around 5 months ago, and I have not stopped or tried to slow down until this week. Currently, I am taking 6-7 10mg pills per day, and i know that i need to get down to 2-4 pills /day This past week i was able to go through 1 day wedensday) of taking 3 pills, and the day was a bit hard to get through. I had severe anxiety and cold sweats. Another day (friday) i took 2 pills which was slightly better, but not by much. Yesterday i took 5 pills and had a awesome day, so i guess this is my addiction level. I guess 50-70 mg per day is where i am at. Is that bad? I currently have approximately 90 pills, and tapering seems difficult. Also, I no longer have the means to get this drug in the quantities I need. No matter what, i will be getting off them and will experience withdrawals. Nobody knows of my addiction, and i am NOT prepared or able to tell anyone at this point. I play it safe. Part of me feels as if the anxiety/fear over quitting is worse than the quitting. (until the withdrawrals start). When they start, i am in pure hell, and cannot do anything. Fortunately, I am engaged and have no kids, and my fiance does not know about. She remains my inspiration and my main reason why i need to get down to at least 2-3 pills/day. I do not fear she will leave me, but i am not prepared to tell her of my problem just yet. Down the croossroad after i get thru this, i will tell her. I know i will be in withdrawal mode for at least a week or 2. I am scared as hell. I have ordered vanilla valiums and xanax online to get me through this. They will be arriving hopefully in 10 days. I am scared, but i have no choice but to go ahead. Aside from the obvious (immodium, water, hot/cold baths...), would anyone here be able to offer any other suggestions? I know this is the first step to a long recovery, but any help would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.